Kristen

It’s been over a month since Kristen and I officially became a couple (i.e., boyfriend-girlfriend). Just looking back at how it happened is an interesting story.

Kristen and I met at as employees at Lands’ End. She started working there in June 2005, and I began the following August. The following month, she passed the Wisconsin Bar Exam so she could practice law in the state (she graduated from Notre Dame Law School in Indiana). But she was still making retail wages. Around that time, I was given permission to hire two limited-term employees for the livestock premises registration program at the Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection (DATCP, my full-time employer). I suggested to Kristen that she apply, not thinking of anything other than hiring her because she had very good customer service skills and knew the computer systems at Lands’ End (they use a legacy mainframe system that’s slightly less user-friendly than DATCP’s licensing system). After interviewing nearly a dozen candidates, a coworker and I agreed that Kristen was one of our top candidates. She accepted the position and started working for DATCP as an limited-term employee (LTE) in October.

Kristen and I continued to work together at both Lands’ End and at DATCP on a professional level. At Lands’ End, I started asking people that closed on Saturday nights if they wanted to join me for a drink after work. One other coworker, Mike, and I went out a couple of times (no other takers). One night, Mike couldn’t make it, but after sitting at the bar and having a beer, Kristen showed up with her brother David (they share an apartment in Madison). We hung out and had a good chat. Kristen started coming out more regularly after that. By the end of November, Mike had quit working at Lands’ End, so it became just Kristen, one or two other coworkers, and me.

In December, one of the associate managers put in her two-weeks notice. Her last evening was December 31. Since it was New Year’s Eve, the store closed early. I asked if anyone wanted to go out for Erin’s last night, and I had no takers (Kristen did not work that evening). So it was Erin and me. We had dinner and a nice discussion, but we both decided to call it an early evening.

The following Tuesday when I worked at Lands’ End, I mentioned that only Erin and I went out. I felt a little sorry for her because I was the only one that took her out. Then I asked, “so what was that?” Kristen responded that it was a date. I argued that it couldn’t be because we hadn’t thought of it that way. But Kristen explained that because there we assume that certain expectations exist… actually, I still don’t follow her reasoning about it. So, Kristen convinced me that it was a date. The following Saturday, Kristen and I went out after work. I brought the subject up again and asked if we were on a date, but we both agreed that we weren’t dating because she worked for me and that there could be ethical consequences.

But it’s amazing how things may not always be what they seem. Every time I asked people to go out on Saturday night, Kristen always came out. One night, she suggested that we see Brokeback Mountain with another coworker (which, by the way, I thought was a good movie). Saturday night became our night out, and others were welcome to join us. But every time I asked, Kristen was willing to join. Others at Lands’ End saw a pattern, but Kristen and I continued to explain that our professional relationship precluded us from pursuing something more personal. And yet, our discussions every Saturday night were a little more personal (albeit not romantic).

Around the middle to end of February, we started realizing that we may actually like each other beyond coworkers or friends.

On March 2, we had a meeting at DATCP, and I invited both of my LTEs to join and listen to the Dr. John Clifford, Deputy Administrator of the US Department of Agriculture – Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service – Veterinary Services. Kristen said she would be able to stop in when Dr. Clifford was scheduled to start; Ashley (the other LTE) was unable to attend due to class. By this time, I realized that I had feelings for Kristen; after all, I was attracted to her, I knew that she and I had a lot in common, we shared the same humor, and she and I could really hold a conversation with each other. But when she came into the room, I felt a rush of emotion that made me realize how I really feel about her. I thought to myself, “Holy crap, I’m in love with Kristen!”

Of course, I perceived this as a problem. Kristen works for me at DATCP, even though she is only here for a limited time. But I couldn’t resist how I felt about her. That Friday, I bought a new cell phone (I was having issues with US Cellular, so I switched to Verizon), and I stopped at Lands’ End to show it off. Kristen was working that evening, and at one point, she asked another coworker to have me talk to her while she was on break. When I talked to Kristen, she merely asked about the new phone. I felt something else was going on, but I was afraid to talk about it (I’m pretty shy about such things, and there is the whole work issue). Kristen and I agreed to go out again after closing at Lands’ End, and we both started sharing some flirtations. It became obvious that we started feeling more to our professional and friendly relationship, but I still felt uncertain about how she really felt. The next evening, Saturday, we went out again, this time with one of our fellow coworkers Lourdes. Kristen sat next to me in a booth, and she started leaning on me. It was obvious to Lourdes that we felt something more about each other (I called Lourdes afterwards to explain how I felt). Of course, we ended up closing the bar, and Lourdes drove Kristen home.

I picked up Kristen the next day and brought her to work. After work, we picked up her car, and she invited me to her place to watch the academy awards with her and her brother, which I accepted. At one point, David left to run an errand, leaving Kristen and me alone to talk. I told her that I really liked her in a romantic way, and she responded in kind. But we both felt that we couldn’t really be together because of our working relationship. But we continued to sit and hold hands (it was really sweet), and it seemed that we both felt more than before.

As the week wore on, we both continued to work as if things were business as usual. But when we had a chance, we shared glances. But that Thursday evening, we planned on joining some colleagues for Karaoke. Kristen and I agreed to get dinner and do a little window shopping before going to join the others. I couldn’t stand the thought of no longer being without her; I just felt it was no longer appropriate to hide it. So I spoke to my administrator Sue about how we felt about each other. She said that she it was great and that she was excited for us; that took me by utter surprise.

That evening, I picked up Kristen to get something to eat and to look at furniture (she was looking for a new mattress). I told her what Sue had told me. Kristen was pretty happy to hear it, and I was happy to report it. We looked at mattresses at one store, had dinner at the local Olive Garden, and looked at mattresses at another store. But we never made it to karaoke because of the weather (it was pretty foggy that evening). Instead of karaoke, we chose to hang out at Barnes and Noble and enjoy each others’ company. This included climbing a big snow bank outside, buying tea in the little Starbucks, and sitting on a couple of chairs and just talking and holding hands. Afterwards, I drove her home; that night, I asked her if it would be okay to state that we were officially dating, and she gave me the okay. That was March 9, which we’ve since marked as our first date anniversary.

Kristen Kristen

Brian and Kristen Brian and Kristen

My 2006 Resolutions

Another year has gone by, and it’s time for my 2006 resolutions. I reviewed my goals from last year, and I can’t really complain much.

Last year was the second year that I published a list of resolutions. In keeping with some tradition, it’s time to review my list and update it for the New Year. As I’ve done in the past, I’ll start with my 2005 accomplishments and move on to what I’d like to complete this year.

2005 goals

Continue staying healthy

I managed to keep in pretty good shape in 2006, but I still need to move away from eating out much. At least I don’t hit the fast food places as often as I used to. I also managed to finally quit smoking on January 31. So far, I haven’t even smoked a puff. I think that alone is a great accomplishment, but I have more work to do.

Keep playing the guitar

I stopped taking lessons earlier, due because my teacher left to join a band. But I continued to try to work on my skills alone. After doing so, I realized that I need to take lessons again or force myself to get beyond the really basic stuff that I already know.

Improve my wardrobe

I started buying new clothing earlier this year, but then stalled for a little while. Then I started working for a clothing retailer. Now I have a fairly new wardrobe. I also started watching “What Not to Wear” on TLC. I am proud to say that I no longer have pleats in my wardrobe. I’ve adopted the philosophy, “dress for the job you want, not the one you have.”

Keep improving my analytical skills

I was thrown into project management this past year, which forced me to just hone my analytical skills on the fly. I have more work to do here, but I will continue to improve my policy analysis skills over the next couple of years.

Keep reducing the clutter

The apartment isn’t a fire trap, but it’s not immaculate either. I have to focus on cleaning it again. This past year, I cleaned out a lot of clothes that I didn’t wear anymore, and I managed to purchase new clothes (as I mentioned earlier). There are other areas that I need to focus on, and I’m sure I’ll get to them this year.

Keep adding content to the new site

I wanted to add dynamic content to my site, but that requires creating a SQL database and rewriting a number of pages in PHP (for those of you who have no idea what that means, let’s just say it’s all programming beyond what I know). I didn’t complete some of the things I wanted to finish, but I may work on that this year.

2006 Resolutions

Improve my organizational and career skills

I was thrown into managing my first major project in 2005: livestock premises registration. When I first agreed to take on the project, I didn’t realize how large the project would become. After about a year of managing this project, I’m glad to say that we’re done with phase one and have already kicked off phase two. Additionally, I’m now managing the implementation of the program and supervising staff to implement it. To stay on track, I really need to stay organized. So 2006 will see some improvements in my organizational and project management skills.

I’ve listed a number of goals for 2006 in my profession. I won’t bore you with the list here, but it involves dealing with much more than livestock premises registration and animal identification.

Keep my Web site fresh

I have to admit that I haven’t done a great job of keeping the site fresh lately. This is in part because I took on a part-time job and haven’t had time to manage the site. I also had to change the domain from .us to .net. There are a number of items that I still want to work on, and I hope to address those in 2006.

Save for a house

I stepped up and got real about saving for my first house last year. I am now putting away funds directly from my paycheck that I can’t touch until the certificate matures in two years.

Keep reducing the clutter

I started getting rid of a number of things in 2005. I plan on continuing this effort so I don’t have so much crap around me in 2006. Let’s just call it some major spring cleaning and preparing for the move.

Start running

I want to start running, but I need to find some motivation. I am surrounded by a number of people that run, so I hope to get advice from them this year. I also started developing my plan to start running, and I’ve already selected my starting date.

Continue making healthy choices

I managed to remain I shape for most of 2005. I even quit smoking once and for all on January 31. I hope to stay on track and possibly make even more healthy choices in 2006.

Improve my guitar playing

I discovered that I have music in me that’s trying to get out. I managed to write and record my first song last winter (it was a metal Christmas song that reflects the true feeling of Christmas in the middle of the Christmas season). Since then, I realized that I still have a long way to go with becoming more familiar with the guitar. I’ve been toying with the idea of joining a band, but I still have to work on my technique, speed, and knowledge.

What are my chances in 2006?

I took on my resolutions in 2005 and added some that I didn’t anticipate. The next year will see continued efforts at improvement.

My 2005 Resolutions

Last year I published a list of resolutions for 2004. It’s now 2005, so I took the time to review my list and update it for the New Year. I’ll start with my 2004 accomplishments and move on to what I’d like to complete this year.

2004 resolutions accomplished

Eat healthier

I started off pretty well in 2004, and was able to maintain it for most of the year. But then I fell into the trap of finding convenience in the nearby McDonald’s drive-thru. Fortunately, they now sell salads. At any rate, I need to maintain eating healthier, and follow Benjamin Franklin’s lesson, “Eat to live, don’t live to eat.”

Be more active

I didn’t play as much golf again this year, but I made up for it by playing softball. I was pretty active for the summer, but I need to maintain it year-round. And I need to prepare for softball and golf this year.

Spend more time playing guitar

I think I made some pretty good strides playing the guitar in the past year. I still want to learn more, so I keep plugging away.

Be more assertive

I managed to spend more time away from home this year by hanging out with friends. I also dated for a while (no, really). I also managed to show people that I’m really a fun-loving, nice guy.

Keep the apartment clean

I cleaned it, but it became messy again. I plan on doing some major cleaning this spring, so I hope to be done with this before the middle of the year. The other trick, of course, will be to maintain it.

Be less cynical

I had a rough time when I was put at-risk earlier this year. Yet I managed to see a silver lining in losing my job, though, and I landed on my feet in a job that I truly enjoy. Perhaps I’m not as cynical as I thought I was.

Meet that special someone

I managed to meet some people this year, but things didn’t work out. At least I tried, though… that counts, doesn’t it?

Finish my desk

I had the desk finished and installed by March of this year. Consider this one done.

Read more

I managed to spend some time reading this year. However, I didn’t spend as much time as I wanted to. It’s that darned television and the new DVR that will make this more difficult to accomplish throughout the year.

Finish my web site redesign

I just published the site in early December, so this is another finished resolution.

Complete my England vacation scrapbook

I never started putting together an actual paper scrapbook, but I managed to publish an electronic version on my site. I’d consider that an accomplishment.

It’s pretty obvious that I managed to work towards my goals in 2004. But I have more to accomplish in 2005. Some are repeats, while others are new initiatives.

2005 goals

Continue staying healthy

I’ve got a couple of minor health issues, so I want to attack those and get myself into better shape. This will require remaining active year-round and really trying to keep away from the burgers, fries, and sweets. It’s time for some winter activities.

Keep playing the guitar

I love to shred. I don’t think this will be a problem. But I still have a lot to improve upon, and much more to learn. I plan on working harder on remembering those long Metallica solos.

Improve my wardrobe

I managed to purchase new clothes for work, but I don’t have much in terms of just casual, yet dressy, clothes. If I had to go on a date tomorrow, I’d pretty much be limited in what to wear. Hooded sweatshirts and Metallica T-shirts just won’t cut it. It’s time for some new shirts and pants.

Keep improving my analytical skills

I realize that I still have much to learn in my current job. In time I’ll understand more about my agency and the things that need to be accomplished in order to make everyone’s lives easier, including our customers (that is, the citizens).

Keep reducing the clutter

As I stated earlier, I managed to clean the apartment, but it became messy again. I have no excuses now that I have a desk to help keep me organized. I’ll keep clearing things out and prepare to really start looking for a new place to move (it’s time to start building equity in a house).

Keep adding content to the new site

I want to keep the site fresh, so I have to continue adding content that’s worth reading. Due to my work on the new site redesign, I didn’t write any new soapbox articles after January. I also want to complete the article on building my desk, and I’m thinking about doing more with the blog (although I’m still not sure I want to have people responding and posting to the site yet). I’ve had a lot of positive feedback on it, so I hope people continue to find the things I publish either useful or entertaining.

What are my chances in 2005?

I’ve already started down the right path, although I had a few slip ups along the way. My list this year is much shorter than it was last year, showing that I managed to really get into some positive habits. I have some challenges ahead of me, but I’m working on them now so I can keep them going strong throughout 2005.

Metallica

Originally posted: June 2000 

Metallica is a heavy metal music band. For a heavy metal band that’s been around for over 20 years and can still sell out a concert, I can’t help but notice some people still whining over their recent recordings. Since Load and ReLoad were released in the mid-90′s, I have heard people say that Metallica has sold out. I beg to differ.

Metallica began as a heavy metal group in the early 80′s. They actually brought heavy metal as we know it to the US from the New Wave of British Heavy Metal. They were pioneers. As they progressed into the 90′s, they continued to increase their momentum as a dominant heavy metal force.

But they changed their tunes with Load. ReLoad was no different (basically, music that didn’t fit on Load). They began to move into areas they had never before recorded. For me, it was a great change of pace. They are still Metallica, and the music is still as skillful as it ever was. Yet some people think they’ve gone downhill. I thought rock ‘n’ roll was about doing what you enjoy doing, not what the critics have to say. And if they’re doing something wrong, then perhaps all of those people who are buying tickets and helping them sell out concerts are missing something.
As a person who has come to appreciate music on various levels, I think Metallica has actually gotten better. Singer James Hetfield really produces a range of tones with his awesome voice. Bass player Jason Newsted has done some amazing things to jam his riffs in your face. Drummer Lars Ulrich rolls and bangs the life out of the skins. And guitarists James Hetfield (yes, he sings and plays) and Kirk Hammett ride wild and daring riffs that scream and wail, plunging you deep into their twisted and wicked world. Hearing them play just sounds like they really are pouring their souls into the music.

I especially like the sounds they’re producing now. Don’t get me wrong, I still love what they did years ago. But their range of sounds is amazing. Some songs are bluesy, others are somber. But it’s still loud, present, and alive. And they still found room to put out music that has just as much thrash as their earlier stuff. Their a true heavy metal band that can perform a wide range of sounds and show more talent than many other bands that have been around in the last 20 years.
Perhaps some people are afraid that Metallica is getting old. Those people should try listening to the double-album where they play with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra. They haven’t lost their touch… they really rock! Or maybe they’ve been together too long. Given the average lifetime of most music groups, I’d say Metallica seems to have some longevity in them (despite Newsted’s departure in 2001).

In April 2000, Metallica filed a lawsuit with a company that puts out MP3 files of their music. Apparently, copyright infringement does not seem to be an issue on the Internet. But do I blame them? No; in fact, I hope they set a precedent. How would you like it if you worked hard on a project and someone else reaped the benefits of it? I’d be upset and frustrated, and I’m sure Metallica feels the same way. I don’t think it’s about the money. I believe it’s about taking advantage of someone else’s talents. Essentially, the band was ripped-off, and I’m glad they fought back.

In 2001, the band seemed to be falling apart. Early in 2001, Jason broke away from the band, feeling the need to focus on other things in his life. The break-away was amicable (from MetClub sources). In April the remaining three band members went back into the studio to start work on their next original album (Bob Rock, their producer, filled in on the bass), all while on the search for the next Metallica bass player. In July, Metallica settled their suit with Napster, which seemed to be a windfall. But a week later, James was admitted into rehab for “alcoholism and other addictions.” This postponed many Metallic-events and left things in the hands of Lars and Kirk. Things were probably starting to look abysmal. Then September 11 happened. It seemed that everything else suddenly seemed so insignificant. A week later, Metallica expressed that their site was a hate-free zone and put the word out that they don’t want people to spread the hate that many of us felt after the morning of September 11. Although still looking for a new bass player, Metallica informed its members on its web site that James was out of rehab and “feeling rather good about life.” Despite all the adversity of 2001, this band is dedicated to its music, its expression, and (most importantly) its fans.

With the release of St. Anger, it seems that Metallica is missing one long-standing component to its music: the guitar solo. But this album is not business-as-usual; instead, it’s a vehicle for the band to get over one of its most difficult obstacles and move forward. After seeing Metallica in May 2004, I realized that it was as strong as ever, despite what the critics say (did I mention that it sold out the concert in Madison in a record 22 minutes?). Some people say that St. Anger is the biggest disappointment from the band. I think it’s one of the greatest albums, because it’s raw, heavy, emotive, and absolutely genuine.

Metallica as a band does something that some people just don’t seem to get. This is a band that really has recognition, that has a great track record, and that really does what others are afraid to do… write and play music that allows them to really express themselves. And as for me, I love listening to it. Some people think I’m off my rocker when I say that my favorite band is Metallica (I usually listen to them in the car, at the office, at home… just about anywhere I can). If I were to choose an example of someone with celebrity status who sets a good example, it has to be them because they know how to express themselves through some amazing tunes. They do the one thing that they do best: play some really loud, awesome music. And if they’re good enough to play with a symphony orchestra (and you’re reading from someone who loves the symphony), then they deserve more praise and credit than they’ve received. Did I mention that they write their own music, play their own instruments, and actually sing their own tunes? How many “bands” and “musicians” do that nowadays? And for a band that’s over 20 years old, they still have this amazing ability to sell-out concerts wherever they may roam.

My New Year Resolutions – 2004

Most people make resolutions to improve themselves every year. These usually include losing a few pounds, giving up a vice, or improving their appearance. I’m no better; I usually come up with something that I could improve. So I’ve reexamined my usual promises and added a few new interesting resolutions for 2004.

Eat healthier

Okay, this is one of the more usual ones. I started out really well earlier in 2003 by avoiding fast food and eating more nutritiously at home. But I haven’t been watching what I ate in general over the last couple of months. Lately, I’ve noticed more meals eaten out, and fewer meals with any real nutritional value at home. I’m not suggesting that I become a vegetarian; instead I should limit my sugar and fat intake. I’m not trying to lose a few pounds; rather, I’m trying to keep myself from gaining it back.

Be more active

In conjunction with eating healthier, I also need to keep the juices flowing. I work in an office, so I spend a lot of time sitting. That doesn’t keep the muscles toned. So, 2004 will be the year in which I take up something more than just hitting golf balls (which I only did a few times in 2003). Perhaps just more walking in general would be a good start. Again, the goal isn’t weight loss; it’s just to remain healthy to avoid problems in the future.

Spend more time playing guitar

As an aspiring guitarist (well, one with a real job to fall-back on), I really need to devote more time to practicing and learning how to play this cool instrument. In 2004, I plan on expanding not only my song repertoire, but also my understanding of the instrument and of music theory in general. I just hope the neighbors don’t complain when I start cranking up the amp while playing Metallica’s “Seek and Destroy.” Also, since I’m working on becoming more active, it should become easier to thrash (head-bang) while rolling through a few metal riffs. This should help justify my next guitar purchase, too!

Be more assertive

I hate when I’m shopping and I suddenly can’t get past a couple of people that park their shopping carts in everyone’s way. I usually just say, “Excuse me,” but either I have such a quiet voice or people just don’t hear me. 2004 will be different. Forget the niceties; I’m going to push people out of my way or just hide their shopping carts on them.

I’m also a pretty shy person, so I need to be more vocal. So I also plan to meet and befriend more people. This will include going out and seeing more around town.

Save for a house

I don’t dislike where I live now, but there are so many more benefits to owning my own house. For example, I can actually paint my walls whatever color I want, I can crank up my guitar amp and not bother so many people (well, usually), and I don’t have to wait for a washing machine. Furthermore, I would like more room to spread out. The apartment complex in which I live has been wonderful, thanks to some really good neighbors and great management staff. But I need to think about the big picture… including writing off those mortgage interest payments on my taxes.

Keep the apartment clean

Since I want to move into a house, I should make this a priority. It will make moving easier. Included among the things I need to do this year are finding a better spot for my guitar effects pedals and keeping the dining room table clutter down (which will become easier once the desk is home and in place).

Be less cynical

In case you haven’t noticed by reading most of the stuff I publish on here, I’m pretty jaded. I would like to see the good in people, but I usually let some little bits of reality sneak in and take hold of my world view. So I’m going to start giving more people the benefit of the doubt and try to be nicer in general. That should go over really well with my heavy-metal reputation.

Meet that special someone

As you’ve probably read and gathered from reading other things on this site, I’m single. Hey, I’d like to meet a special woman, fall in love, and offer her everything I can (uh, within reason). So I’ve made that a priority in 2004. No more cynicism and becoming more assertive may lead to me meeting someone nice enough to go on a date or two with me. However, I do have some criteria: she must accept that I like playing metal guitar (or any guitar); she must accept that I like the Green Bay Packers; and she must be able to help out with cooking and cleaning (help out means that I will also cook and clean). Speaking of cooking, she can’t be overly fussy about what she eats (still wondering why I’m single?).

Finish my desk

Okay, this is something I’ve been working on for almost two years. Yes, it probably would have been completed if there wasn’t a miscommunication about the lumber order. But great progress was made over the past year, thanks mostly to my great friends Chuck and Emil. Now that most of it is stained, sealed, and varnished and we only need to install hardware and give it a test-fitting, this should probably be the most achievable resolution for 2004. However, if I’m still writing about working on it a year from now, I’m giving up on it altogether!

Read more

I purchased a lot of books last year, but I haven’t read them yet. I’m only on Chapter Three of the latest Harry Potter book, and I bought it right after it was released this past summer. So I’m going to put aside an hour or so every night just for reading. I plan on finishing about one book a month this year, depending on the size and the topic (if it turns out to be a clinker, though, I’ll stop reading it and move on to the next book). I don’t have a list of what I’ll read yet, but I’m sure I’ve got enough material to keep me busy throughout the year. Maybe I’ll even get a newspaper just to keep up with the news… then again I have access to most articles through the Internet.

Finish my web site redesign

As you may be aware, I started redesigning this site again recently. I don’t expect it to be active soon, but I would like to have it ready by the summer. So I want to spend some time learning more about web site design and putting what I learn into practice. Speaking of which, I also would like to keep more current on my site… I know, I know; you’re still waiting for those pictures from England. And speaking of which…

Complete my 2003 England Vacation scrapbook

I took a series of classes this past summer to learn how to effectively put together a scrapbook. Since then, I’ve purchased enough material for the first four or six pages. Yet all I have is materials… no cutting, no pasting, no planning. So I would like to at least start on my scrapbook in 2004; I’d even like to finish it as soon as possible, assuming it doesn’t drive me nuts.

As you can see, I’ve actually spent some time really thinking about areas where I need to make improvements and strategizing how I can achieve these resolutions. I hope to write next year with positive results. I don’t know if I’ll achieve all of my goals in 2004, but there are a few that are worth focusing my energy. So, if you find this kind of thing worth reading and learning about, I’ll go through this process again next year.

Ice Cream: Coronary in a cone

The Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) recently distributed a press release stating that eating ice cream is essentially hazardous for your health. They claim that the number of calories and fat are so high, it seems that retailers are essentially trying to see who can contribute the most to the nation’s widening beltline. Click here to see the press release:

http://www.cspinet.org/new/200307231.html (this links to another web site)

Fortunately, I live in a state where such statements are denounced. Wisconsin is nicknamed America’s Dairyland (among other things) because it used to be the leading state in dairy production. This long heritage continues to keep dairy alive here. Despite federal milk price fixing (the closer to Eau Claire that milk is produced, the pricier it gets), Wisconsin is still the king of good dairy, as far as I’m concerned.

So, what’s wrong with ice cream and other dairy products? Are we so hot to blame what we eat that we can’t see where the real problem lies?

The following links lead to two articles from Madison newspapers. The first is from the Wisconsin State Journal and discusses the press release as well as local reaction. The second is somewhat related, but describes how four men in their 70s and 80s are still going strong.

http://www.madison.com/archives/read.php?ref=/tct/2003/07/24/0307240107.php (this links to another web site)

http://www.madison.com/archives/read.php?ref=/madison.com/html/archive_files/wsj/2003/07/24/0307230633.php (this links to another web site)

Here’s my take on the subject, and the State Journal article quotes someone who says the same thing. All things in moderation will not kill you. It’s like drinking (hold on, I’m going somewhere with this). Studies indicate that one glass of red wine every night is actually good for your heart. However, a whole bottle regularly is not safe. I think the same can be said with dairy. A single-scoop ice cream (not custard) cone is loaded with calcium, vitamins A and D, and various natural fats that allow the body to digest it properly. When we go to custard, we’re adding protein. Admittedly, ice cream and custard are also loaded with fat and calories. But the benefits of good exercise and eating one or two cones weekly should far outweigh the dangers of added calories and fat. Add to that the delicious taste of a good, cold ice cream cone on a warm, summer day, and people start working out their smiling muscles. Happy people bring good relations, and all that.

Let’s face it, we are getting heavier. I hate shopping for clothes and finding only pants that are designed for larger people. But with proper exercise, we can continue eating the stuff that brings smiles to everyone’s faces on warm summer days.

Higher Education Access

In Wisconsin, the largest state agency has got to be the University of Wisconsin System. With its flagship campus in Madison, the UW System has 13 four-year colleges and 13 additional campuses statewide. That means that it educates a lot of students. And since it’s in the business of educating the hopefully best and brightest, it also means that our lawmakers have a strong interest in keeping the system going strong.

Unfortunately, the State’s current economic climate does not allow its government to funnel the level of funding to the System that it has in the past. As a result, the UW campuses are looking for ways to live within its budget limitations and provide a good education.

Like every other agency, the UW System has been crying wolf at budget cuts. It threatens to raise tuition and admission standards to provide quality education to those students that are already attending as well as the incoming freshmen. In my opinion, that’s a good move. But it is also a politically controversial one, since it realizes that many students will be denied access to higher education within the system.

So why do I care? I was a product of the UW System. I received both a bachelor’s and master’s degree at UW-Milwaukee (UWM). My college did provide me with a good education and a good curriculum, but I’m still paying back the tuition. Overall, though, after several years of college, I think I got a bargain.

Every year since I started studying at UWM, I saw tuition increase. Every year, I paid it (well, borrowed to pay it). Every year, I realized that I was still getting a quality education. And yet, I chose to go there because it was a lot cheaper than going to a private school. Tuition for a private school would’ve cost me about three to five times as much as what I paid at UWM. In fact, my annual high school tuition was higher than my annual college tuition.

So, getting back to why I care, I’m sick and tired of hearing students bitch and whine about how it’s becoming more difficult to get into school and afford it. I’ve seen and heard some students suggest that they might have to work and go to school at the same time. Oh no, many of them might have to find part-time jobs to pay for college. And oh my, it’s tough going to school full-time and working at the same time. (Do you sense a bit of sarcasm yet?)

Yeah, right. I’m no honor student, and yet I managed to not only work while going to school, but I did both full-time. While working on my master’s degree, I worked full-time in a retail shop selling plumbing and hardware. Amazingly, I managed to pay for school (most of which I’m still paying), get and maintain good grades, and find work in my field. I even took summer and winter classes so that I could graduate sooner.

So I think I have every right to say to all those students out there, “Deal with it!” All state agencies are hurting, not just the UW System. Even the Department of Transportation (my employer) with its own fund is struggling during this economic slump. So all agencies need to find creative ways to deal with the budget deficit. If the UW administrators need to cut enrollment and increase standards, then more power to them. I don’t see any real solutions coming from those whiners that want to study there.

Those that are in college and don’t take the chance to work while in school never get a dose of reality until after they graduate and find employment in the workplace. There’s a fairly large difference between theory and practice, and students that don’t learn that before graduation lose out on valuable educational experience.

Furthermore, I’m not sure that everyone belongs in college. There are many students that I’ve met during my college days that didn’t belong there. Their narrow-mindedness and poor academic performance made them more suitable for ditch-digging. Higher education is about more than learning what’s in a book; it’s a chance to open your mind and consider the possibility that it’s not a black-and-white world. Furthermore, college should prepare you to come up with alternatives and think outside the box (well, at least in my field of study). No, I didn’t expect to solve the problems of the world, and that wasn’t why I went to college. Instead, it offers you a foundation of what may work and what hasn’t worked, and how to analyze and weigh alternatives. Not everyone can be a leader; someone has to follow. Likewise, if you’ve read my soapbox on technology, then you know that not everyone can work in IT (or better yet, look at the dot-com bust).

Another thing I find interesting is that the UW System has had it relatively easy versus other state agencies. It has managed to keep costs down because Wisconsin’s taxpayers subsidize the system. Yet students don’t realize that they’re paying only a portion of the total cost of their own subsidized education. While hard-working people have had to sacrifice more out of their paychecks to receive less direct benefits from the State, they’ve continued to subsidize the UW. A quick search of 2001 Wisconsin Act 16 will demonstrate all of the exemptions that the UW System received during the 2001-03 biennial budget cycle. 2001 Wisconsin Act 109 (2001-03 biennial budget repair bill) required additional cuts to most state agencies, with the exception of the UW System.

What’s worse, though, is that most students that earn their degrees in Wisconsin move to other states for work. So the intellectual property that the State produces does not directly contribute to its economy. As a result, the taxpayers end up with a double-whammy of subsidizing students; first through the initial tuition subsidy, and second through additional economic burdens developed by the deficit of those that have moved to other states with their taxpayer-subsidized degrees. As more students graduate and find jobs elsewhere, the State’s economy continues to spiral downwards as those that remain in Wisconsin end up paying more for the State’s overall public burden.

I could just state that the grass is greener on the other side, but I imagine that most UW System students chose their schools because of the lower tuition. As I stated before, a comparable private school could cost at least four times as much. Another benefit that students are receiving, though, is the increasing financial aid they’ll continue to receive because the federal government is also subsidizing student tuition. For those that receive federal financial aid, they know (and hopefully realize) that this lessens their short-term financial burden of paying for school. For those that don’t apply (for whatever reason), they are in the dark about this opportunity. Federal aid does help with the up-front tuition costs of a public school more than the up-front tuition costs of a private school. If tuition for public schools mirrored that of private schools, students would have a much more difficult time with paying tuition, as well as receiving financial aid (with the exception of grants and scholarships).

To conclude, it may be unfortunate that everyone that desires to go to school will not get in. But if it takes higher standards and tuition for people to get a quality education, then perhaps we will see quality graduates. My experience tells me that not everyone is suited for college, and yet we’re promoting it to no end. If you don’t make the cut, you don’t play. If you do make the cut, expect to deal with what’s ahead. High school may not prepare you for that, but that’s life in the real world, whether you’re a college student or not. I could go on about how today’s kids are coddled (I was brought up in that generation), but that’s for another day. College isn’t about parties, whining about paying higher tuition, and avoiding work; it’s about hard work, using and opening your mind, paying now to reap larger benefits later (hopefully), and establishing a foundation for your future.

Also, students need to realize that they benefit from the relatively low cost of their education. Earning a bachelor’s degree at a UW school is still far cheaper than earning one at a private university. Furthermore, remaining in Wisconsin means that they benefit from all kinds of services that aren’t available in other states. Although this state is known for its public funding of services, this fact is usually missed in many statistics about the high amount of taxes and fees paid in Wisconsin. Those taxes subsidize UW System students’ education. So the next time I hear a student whine about his or her tuition going up, I’m going to give them my tax bill.

Technology and Social Degradation

Ever since I heard a teacher argue about the importance of computers in education, I’ve been thinking about how much I disagree. Sure, we’re moving towards a world of technological advancement, and computers surround us and affect us in our daily lives, but to start children on computers at an early age is something that I don’t think the schools should be responsible for. It’s my opinion that children should learn basic reading, writing, and arithmetic skills before tackling the mouse and keyboard.

Since then, I’ve started thinking about how technology affects us. Most of us can’t live without things like e-mail, the Internet, or even word processing. I was shocked to find ledger paper in my office the other day (you know, the columnar paper that accountants used to record credits and debits on before they could do it with a computer). I’m frightened at how dependent we are on all of this technology.

“Wait a minute Brian… you’re a gear head! You’ve got all kinds of gadgets and such… how can you say you’re frightened of technology?”

It’s true. I’m almost as bad as the next person. You realize that there are times that I need to perform calculations in my head (I leave my calculator in my desk drawer, often by mistake). But it’s also part of my past. When I worked in a hardware store, the cash register was so old that we actually had to punch in the numbers along a grid of digits (unlike the little keyboards you find on most registers and calculators today). The register didn’t tell us the change; we had to figure that out in our minds. So imagine the amazement a cashier had at a nearby restaurant when she keyed in the wrong button on her register and I had to tell her how much my change was. This is another example of how technology is adversely affecting us.

With the invention of the pocket calculator and its decreasing price, teachers have found it necessary to require children to use these for some simple math. Sure, I went to school after the slide rule was obsolete, and yes, I was required to purchase a graphing calculator for school (and they were new technology back then). But when college started, the calculator was shunned, if not completely banished, from the classroom. Imagine taking a test and having to multiply numbers on the piece of paper that you’re working on… and these chicken scratches were actually required! Can most children do this today?

Today, we also have less expensive computers (well, compared to what they cost before the mid-nineties). Most parents think that computers are actually positive influences on their children’s learning. So, let’s see if I understand this… a six-year old boy or girl should learn how to use a keyboard, right? Imagine those tiny fingers typing as fast as I can… and I’m no speed-typist. Or they should learn how to read things on a screen. I have two words for you: eye strain. I can’t believe that children would learn any faster using a computer than if they were reading a book. Yes, I believe that children should be exposed to technology, but only after they have the fundamentals down. For generations, children learned by reading books, writing with pencils, and adding with their fingers. But let’s teach them that computers will do all the work for them… that’s what I call learning.

Wait, I haven’t mentioned the Internet yet. It seems that everyone out there thinks the Internet is the ultimate source of information. I recently saw a Charter Communications commercial where some kid’s bad grades were the result of getting rid of a dial-up Internet connection, but his grades went back up when he used his friend’s high-speed Internet connection. What school does he attend that doesn’t have a library (Books? What are those?)?

I remember when the Internet became a household word. It was amazing… I could type in some address and see what someone had to sell. Now it seems that everyone has an Internet site (if you’re reading this, you know what I mean). How do you know that information that I’m providing is accurate? How should anyone confirm the authenticity of the information that’s out there?

If you’ve read my soapbox article on e-mail, you know exactly what I mean. Ah, e-mail, that other great technological wonder! I can send a text message to anyone (and everyone) in a matter of seconds. Cool. And I can receive information from others just as quickly. Yes, I even receive those warnings about viruses and other dangerous maladies floating around (most, not all, are usually hoaxes).

Wait, there are web sites out there that warn of hoaxes, aren’t there? Are kids learning this stuff in school? Are they learning how to verify the authenticity of their sources?

What else do computers teach children? What about word processing? Kids must learn how to write. But are they learning proper grammar? Does the word processing software that you’re using always catch improper grammar usage? Even the software I use makes mistakes. I dislike the green squiggly line… it’s annoying, and often incorrect. And how often does it remain stable? I enjoy rebooting my work computer every other week because my word processor is touchy. You’re probably thinking, “Brian, you should use Microsoft Word.” Newsflash: I do!

What about instant messaging? Does that have an effect on kids’ grammar today? If u r an IM user, u might recognize that I’m lol because of the stories I keep hearing about kids using IM “grammar” in their schoolwork. :) Actually, it’s pretty serious. If I were a teacher and a student of mine used IM abbreviations in any part of his or her paper, that kid would spend a lot of time after school with his or her nose in a novel (perhaps Dickens, possibly Tolstoy). :p

Another piece of software that I use regularly is a spreadsheet. This is an electronic (and if programmed properly, automated) ledger pad. It’s really convenient. I enter the numbers, apply a formula, and let the spreadsheet do its magic. If I need to change a number and recalculate the results, I change one number and let the spreadsheet perform the necessary calculation for me. But how many kids know how to set up a spreadsheet to do this? How many kids are going to need to know how to do this in their future professions? Personally, I can’t see a doctor or lawyer using a spreadsheet… that’s what aides and assistants are for.

But let’s move away from what kids are learning in school and focus more on what they’re learning in general. They have technology in the classroom today. Computers, cable television, even dry-erase boards. Kids are taught that all of this great technology is needed to learn. What about imagination or really using your noodle? What’s worse is what’s going on at home. Television flashes fast food as a fun thing and the coolest new toys and games during children’s programming. Video games are readily available. Computers are invading homes everywhere.

All of this technology has led to one thing: fatter kids. The United States is the fattest country in the world. Even worse, over 30% of the fat people in the US are under 18! Obesity is becoming a bigger problem every year. It is the second largest contributor to heart disease and other fatal conditions (smoking is first), and it may soon become first. (To learn more, see the Center for Disease Control and Prevention website.)

Okay, so you’re wondering how technology is doing this. Think about the hours kids spend sitting in front of the computer on the Internet, or sitting in front of the television playing video games or watching cartoons. That’s hours that they’re not exercising.

What’s worse is that children are playing games that are much more realistic in appearance (this ain’t the Atari that I grew up with). With the amount of games that look realistic and have violent motifs, I wonder if kids are becoming desensitized to real life violence (I’ll leave the answer up to the folks that do the studies). What’s worse is that the games are becoming racy… I would never suggest Grand Theft Auto 3: Vice City for my nieces (what you do with your kids is your business)!

I’ve focused on children so far. What about adults? Does this technology affect us as well?

I believe it does. I’m just as guilty as the next person when it comes to watching television or chatting on the Internet (well, maybe not as guilty). Rather than being out and actually meeting people, I sit at home (to my credit, though, I probably spend more time working on the guitar than just sitting in front of the computer or television). But this means that I’m not as social as I should be or would like to be. But it also means that I’m not walking, exercising, etc. I even spend all day in an office sitting at a desk and often working on the computer. This translates into many hours of doing almost absolutely nothing that keeps my muscles in motion, and results in less calories burned.

Now what about other adults? Some other adults actually move around when they work, and come home to relax, right? What’s wrong with that?

Actually, there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s what’s done when relaxing that bothers me. Most people sit at home, drink a couple of beers (or whatever), watch television, do a bit of housework, and go to bed. But there are a few people that spend countless hours on the computer and get nothing else done during that time. In that time, their kids are not getting help with their homework, their spouses are not getting the attention they need, and the house is falling into disarray (unless the spouse is doing work). As a result, adults are also getting larger.

Perhaps now is a good time to mention this: sitting truly messes up your back. I don’t care what your chiropractor says. Sitting puts undue stress on the spine, causing most spines to lose natural curves in them. This results in putting pressure on the nerves in the spine (especially lower down the back). Your legs may hurt, your shoulders will droop forward and separate muscles in your neck, and your lower back will ache. The human body was not designed to sit… I knew this back in college, and I know it now. Furthermore, repetitive motion injuries are becoming more prevalent among computer users.

This technology stuff is also a financial burden. For those of you who have money to burn, you can afford the latest and greatest (even though it’s prone to crashing and stalling). For those of us who can’t afford a new computer or television every year, we have to shell out cash every so often to have something that will last a while. My current computer cost me almost $2,000 only three years ago (case and monitor). My next one will cost more (due to specific needs), but won’t be purchased for at least a year (hmm, new computer for recording or Paul Reed Smith guitar?). My other option is to upgrade, but even that would cost at least $500.

What does this have to do with social degradation?

Because technology causes us to spend so much time and money on it, we run into problems elsewhere in our lives. I, for example, spend more time in front of my computer than trying to meet people. I also spend a considerable amount of money on computer software and peripherals instead of spending it on something more social (such as bars, clubs, bookstores, cafes, etc.). Needless to say, I’m still single!

Another area that’s leading to our demise is related to transportation. I’ll attack this from two fronts. First, there’s the “image” of the fast cars and sex appeal. People today are captivated by sports cars, driving fast, and lots of action, and most of us men think that it will help us pick up women (seeing how I’m a guy, I can’t speak for women). All of those flashy, glitzy images on the silver screen and the television lead us to think that we, too, can be flashy and glitzy by driving the same types of vehicles. So, we hop in our little sports cars, rev the engines, fly down roads at blazing speed, assuming we’ll never get caught, and -WHAMMO – you slam into a tree, another motorist, or a wall. If you’re smart, you chose to wear your seatbelt, in which case your car is toast but you are able to walk away or end up with a few minor injuries. If you’re not, you basically had a very quick lesson in physics as you flew through your windshield and died. Automotive safety technology has increased amazingly in the last thirty years, but our behaviors have also changed, making us feel invincible. The result is a record number of highway fatalities last year. The technology link? The glitz and glamour of movies and the media, and yes, even video games, contribute to this behavior.

On that note, I should also mention the increase in sports-utility vehicles (SUV). Not only are there more SUVs on the road today, but there are also more SUV rollovers. These vehicles are built high off the ground, which raises their centers of gravity and makes them more prone to rolling over when involved in an accident. Another contributing factor is the “invincibility” mentality I just mentioned above.

The second front deals with when we drive and where we drive to. Thanks to our desires to live in the middle of nowhere or to admire every moment we have in the car, we essentially drive everywhere. I’m just as guilty as the next person. Instead of taking a ten minute walk to the nearest grocery store, we hop in the car and drive to the store. Or, rather than allowing our kids to walk to school, we move 20 miles away and chauffer them to class, soccer, and all the other extracurricular activities they’re involved in, meaning that we’re busier shipping our kids and dropping them off than spending quality time with them. But this behavior results in people becoming lazy, and laziness results in weight gain and obesity (you mean the kids should walk?). In the US, obesity is the second leading cause for premature deaths in the US (next to smoking), and may soon become number one. Although transportation is one cause, it’s not the only one. I also think other contributing factors include the way cities are planned (crossing the street in some areas is daunting due to high traffic levels), and non-active activities such as watching television or video games. But because transportation is so relatively cheap in the US (despite climbing gas prices, the rate of inflation of gas has declined over the last 20 years… but that’s not the discussion here), using personal transportation instead of walking or finding other, more active means is making us fat.

Another problem is the increase in “greenhouse” emissions. Although cars today are emitting lower emissions, the cumulative effect is still dangerous. More people today have respiratory-related illnesses than ever before. And in many large cities in the US, smog and air pollution force states to perform annual or biennial emissions testing. Working from a budget perspective (and in the state Department of Transportation), I can guarantee that this is expensive. As a result, we are now inundated with reformulated fuels, which also cost more to produce. So there is also a financial impact, both at the government level, and the consumer level (which explains your higher gasoline prices). I could spend a lot more time discussing traffic congestion, the need to build more roads, and subsidized transit, but I’ll save that discussion for another day.

This is an excellent segway into cell phones. I hate how many people talk and drive on city streets (and in some cases on freeways). They seem more involved in the telephone conversation than on what’s going on in front of them. And they drive either very slowly or like maniacs. But what really bothers me is that many people don’t pay attention to what’s going on in front of them. Although most studies show that a small percentage of accidents result from cell phone use, there’s another point to all of this. People don’t pay attention when they drive. Technology has made things so convenient for us that we now rely on it to protect us, get us from point A to point B in record time, and do just about everything for us.

What really bothers me is when people talk on cell phones while they’re shopping. Okay, I don’t have a problem with those that call a friend to determine if they should get the red dress or the blue one. However, I find it annoying when they carry on a fifteen minute conversation about everything but what they’re shopping for. Or worse, if you’re a customer sales representative trying to help someone and they start a conversation on the phone, they expect you to wait for them until they’re conversation is over… and it usually has nothing to do with his or her shopping trip. I have two words for people like that: voice mail! Even though these people are talking with others, they’re still being extremely rude and (dare I say it?) unsociable. I could talk about cell phone etiquette here, but I’d do better adding that to my e-mail article.

I want to sum up most of this with a legislative perspective. Because of the rapid growth of all of this technology, the government is having a tough time keeping up with it. Okay, I know most of you are worried about the “big brother” problem. But are you aware that because of the increase in bandwidth demand (cell phones with video and wi-fi) the airwaves are almost literally clogged with radio signals. The Federal Communications Commission has ordered rules that require television stations go digital, and other communication systems to move from one frequency to another. That means more expensive televisions and cell phone subscriptions (someone has to pay for it). Another problem is spam. There’s so much of it now that several states are passing laws to limit it. And then there’s the problem with child pornography and parental oversight. Can you trust your neighbor on the Internet? Can you trust your kids (or, do you know where on the Internet your kids are)?

I think I’ve painted a pretty good picture of how technology is detrimental to all of us. Yes, there are positive benefits to technology, such as being a useful tool to make things more efficient for many users. It’s even a good idea to have a cell phone for emergencies. But technology’s instantaneous nature and quick convenience are having detrimental effects on society and on us. We’re not as friendly, we’re getting lazier (and fatter), and we want everything now. What’s worse, we’re stressing out, some of us are dying prematurely, and it’s costing us lots of money. Perhaps the Amish way of life could provide us some insights into how we should approach technology… but then I would have to give up my electric guitar and heavy metal!

Single and Looking?

Originally posted: August 2000

I initially posted this “snippet” in August of 2000. I’ve been through some changes since, but I’m still “happily single.” I’ve received a lot of inquiries about why I’m still single (as well as pressure from the parents about finding someone).

I have had some great things to be happy about being single. Let’s face it; many people out there have someone that cares about them, someone to come home to, someone to go see a movie with, or whatever else. Yet how many men actually do what they want when they want to? I learned long ago that wives make decisions regarding small things, like buying a new refrigerator, car, or house, while husbands make decisions on big items, like world peace, invading another country, etc. (and you wonder why I’m still single, right?). I’ll admit that being without a “significant other” does have some disadvantages, but there are many advantages to being single as well!

Let’s start with on some advantages of being single that I’ve experienced. To start, you may think you have someone supporting you, but my experience tells me that person is really more of a distraction. Your loved one is always on your mind. You wonder what he/she is thinking about, whether he/she will want to have dinner tonight, or whatever other thing you may worry about. When you’re single, there’s only one person to answer to: you! You know what you’re thinking, and you know what you want to do. This has allowed me to remain impulsive; if I want to see a movie in twenty minutes, or I suddenly have the urge to hit golf balls, I can.

Second, you don’t have to answer to anyone. When I was going steady with someone, I was under some scrutiny about what I was doing, where I was going, and whom I was with. I don’t do that now. If I want to stop at Starbucks after work for a cup of coffee, there is no one that will stop me. I can take a drive in the country without someone asking me why I disappeared for an hour, I can choose which movie I want to rent, and I can choose a restaurant that I enjoy rather than some restaurant that specializes in “mall food.” Another thing is that I can drink if I want to and not get accused of being an alcoholic. Believe me, having two or three beers on a Saturday night in a social setting spread over three or four hours does not make one an alcoholic.

Third, all of my money is spent on what I want to spend it on. If I want to buy a new guitar or a dozen new golf balls, no one is there to tell me that I’m “wasting” my money on such stupid things. I have my hobbies, and I’ll appreciate them the way I see fit. Also, I don’t have to buy flowers for someone who doesn’t appreciate them, as has occurred before. I totally dislike buying flowers for someone like that. If I’m going to buy flowers, it’s because I care, and I know the woman receiving them will enjoy them rather than giving me, “oh, they’re nice,” throwing them on the couch, and wanting to go to wherever it was we were going… sorry, bad experience.

Additionally, I can look at anyone I want without feeling guilty. I can say things like, “that woman looks nice in that outfit,” or “interesting how her shoes match her bag.” I can even look at certain magazines without feeling guilty (not that all of the women in Golf Digest are all that hot, but…). I’m a red-blooded male, and it’s in my nature to look.

Finally, I can remain mobile and flexible. If I want to move to another state, I can do so without worrying about the other person. I can move at will, and I don’t have to think about leaving someone behind (I will miss my nieces). I can even go on vacation without worrying about taking another person (that’s why I have a CD changer in the car). Speaking of driving in the car, I can listen to the music that I enjoy listening to rather than fighting someone over the radio (music is my refuge from the chaotic, hectic road… who’d think Metallica could do that for a person?).

Now I did mention some disadvantages to being single. First, I don’t have anyone to talk to. Although I have several friends, how many of them can I really pour my feelings out to? Well, how many that want to hear me pour my feelings out? Second, there are the hugs and holding. I think this is self-explanatory. Third, although some believe the guy should be the breadwinner, you still don’t have additional financial support. If I’m short on going to see a movie, I don’t mind sharing the cost or going “dutch” (although being the old-fashioned type that I am, I would insist on paying). Finally, there isn’t someone there to help with the household chores. One thing I don’t mind is making dinner, but I only cook for one and do my own dishes. And there are all those other wishy-washy things, like kisses, holding hands, staring into the other’s eyes and realizing what a lucky person you are, wanting so much to spend the rest of your life with… sorry, I digress again.

Now I’ve been on my own for a while. I have thought about whether or not I enjoy being single. Weighing all of these advantages and disadvantages leads me to conclude the following:

I’m impulsive: I like making decisions on the fly. Examples include going to see a movie, hitting golf balls, or just going out and taking a hike through the woods. I can do these at the spur of the moment.

I like to spend time alone: I like to make my own noise (what I sometimes call playing the guitar) and make my own decisions. I’m not saying that I like being alone all of the time, because I like social settings as well. That brings me to my next point.

I like being social: I do enjoy spending time chatting with others. I think people at work will vouch for this. I would also like someone to speak to at home, whether it is a roommate or a loved one. However, since I live in a single-room apartment, this can be difficult.

I’ve developed some of my own new habits: Living alone for over a year now, I’ve already found new habits (yes, they’re healthy ones) that I’m really fond of. Among these include, watching certain things on television (such as the History Channel and the Discovery Channel… sorry, no talk shows here), playing my guitar, and hitting golf balls at the driving range (excellent stress relief, I believe).

Let’s face it, there are advantages and disadvantages to being single. I like the fact that I don’t have to answer to someone, but I don’t have someone around to speak to. I like to discuss things, and I like to listen, but after hearing what some people have to say, I have also learned that ignoring people is not a bad thing. I have gotten used to being single, but now that I’m out of school, perhaps it’s time I moved on, found someone, and settled down. After all, being single can be a lonely thing, and once you find someone that you just “know” is the person you want to be with, you can’t stop thinking of her, wondering if she feels the same way, whether things will work out.

Take my word for it, I don’t know if I truly like being single, seeing how my non-single experience has been in the past. If it’s going to happen, it will. But it’s been fun so far!

Soapbox Quickies

These are just some general statements that I’ve either picked up or made up along the way. For those that are not mine, I’ve added the source from which I received it. I reserve the right to add more as I come up with more. Please remember, these are not meant to offend anyone, so if you’re offended, remember that:

“Everyone’s entitled to my opinion”
Bumper sticker, I think

General Statements

“Thwack!”

Social Statements

“I’m happily single.”

“You expect me to remember that? I forgot what I had for breakfast this morning, and I eat the same thing every day!”

“Brilliant… let’s ban smoking on a social level but legalize marijuana on the medical level. And can you say, ‘hypocrite?’”

“I’ll probably retire before I get married.”

“There are some things I want to do before I get married… improve my golf game, retire, become a rock star…”

“I’m so excited, I’m screaming inside.”

“Life is constant self-improvement.”

“I often wonder if a hundred years from now we’ll look back and say so and so was right about this or that… but I fear that we may still be as short-sighted and self-centered as we are today.”

“I was so pissed off, that I was dehydrated.”
Dodge Co. Board Chair Swain (a Republican)

“Whatsoever therefore is consequent to a time of Warre, where every man is Enemy to every man; the same is consequent to the time, wherein men live without other security, than what their own strength, and their own invention shall furnish them withall. In such condition, there is no place for Industry; because the fruit thereof is uncertain: and consequently no Culture of the Earth; no Navigation, nor use of the commodities that may be imported by Sea; no commodious Building; no Instruments of moving, and removing such things as require much force; no Knowledge of the face of the Earth; no account of Time; no Arts; no Letters; no Society; and which is worst of all, continuall feare, and danger of violent death; And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short …”
Thomas Hobbes, “Leviathan”

“Lincoln made himself dictator. I could see how right wingers would be very fascinated by how you could become beloved by everybody. National hero. Suspend habeas corpus. Do in the fourth amendment. Do all kinds of… freedom of speech; the first amendment. Shut down newspapers. I mean, every dictatorial thing you could do he did out of military necessity, which is written in the constitution. Others later, whom I shall not name, have invoked this and pretended that they were wartime presidents when they were not. The war against terror is like a war against dandruff; I mean, it’s a metaphor; it’s not about anything. The Civil War is a little more serious.”
Gore Vidal, the History Channel documentary: “Lincoln”

Animals/The Environment

“I love animals… they taste great.”
Bumper sticker

“I love animals, as long as they’re someone else’s.”

“I’d love to join PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)! When do we show up for the veal dinner?”

“I don’t have any animals… I’m afraid I’d kill a houseplant.”

Discrimination

“Next year, put up a holiday tree but let it stand naked – as a tribute to the people who won’t give up until they’ve ruined a holiday tradition for the rest of us.”
Green Bay Press Gazette – Editorial – 12/06/01 – In response to lawsuits against the State of Wisconsin over the holiday tree in the Capitol Building Rotunda

“Fundamentalists are the most dangerous people; they don’t know how to open their minds to other ideas.”

“I don’t know what’s worse, the people that want to declare a holy war on the rest of us that don’t believe in Islam, or the people that want to ban Harry Potter because he’s a wizard and yet somehow celebrates Christmas.”

Health

“I’m watching my figure… I’m watching it get wider.”

“If fast food is so fast, why does it take them forever to get it to you? How hard is it for them to grab a wrapped burger out of the bin and throw it in a bag?”

Technology

“I hate computers.”

“Computers are great, when they work.”

“When is this stupid thing gonna stop crashing?”

“Ah, to go on vacation. Just think, a week without e-mail, cell phones, or any other technological distractions. Trust me, I won’t miss it.”

“The day I have to program my computer to make it work is the day I buy a shit-load of paper and pencils. Screw that Linux stuff, I’ll stick with Windows for now.”
Response to a friend who told me how great Linux is because I can program it.

“You may be able to type code quickly, but I can type a formal letter in plain English so that people know that I ain’t as full of shit as you are.”
Response to a friend who told me I should learn how to type… when I already know how to.

“If I hear a cell phone ringing while I’m camping, I’m grabbing it and chucking it into the nearest body of water.”

“Interesting how we all value our privacy, yet most of us carry cell phones.”

War

“I’m a proponent of the crystal ball effect… if I know you can nuke me, and you know I can nuke you, what do you think are the chances that we’ll try to find a compromise?”

“Simplicity is best: It’s God’s responsibility to forgive bin-Laden. It’s our responsibility to arrange the meeting. Enough said.”
E-mail message from a coworker, 12/04/2001

Work

“My goal was to finish college and become a hard-working, humble civil servant. If that would’ve fallen through, I would’ve become a rock star.”

Kids

“Children are only as innocent as their parents.”

“I love kids, but I love them more when I can give them back to their parents.”
Author Unknown